LOVE IS INSANITY... PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Have you not heard that falling in love is next to going crazy? Who...in their right mind...would give their heart, mind and soul to another person? That is such a huge gift, such a heavy responsibility outside of having children. Think about it...when you are in love, usually you have sex...unprotected sex...and you put yourself at risk for a myriad of diseases and other illnesses: HIV, gonorrhea, genital warts, chlamydia, etc. Yet, you do it anyway...HOPING and PRAYING that the person you are doing "it" with is worthy of your time, energy, and attention not to mention that thing called "love." You pray that that person won't hurt you, steal from you, lie to you, hit you, or abuse your love. But, what person in their RIGHT mind would take that kind of a chance?
Apparently, there are millions of people out there who have and who do EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every day, every week, every month, every year...millions of people take that leap of Faith and go willingly headlong into the fires of LOVE --- wishing and praying to one day find what they hope will be a little bit (if not a whole lot) of that thing called LOVE in the end. But, what they should be looking for or thinking about is not physical pleasure, or monetary gain, or the excitement, or security. What they should be looking for is SANITY.
I have said this many, many times before---that people are CRAZY! I don't care if you are a certified WHATEVER in your work world, big time executive, leader of the free world ...when it comes to LOVE...you are probably out of your mind. Some people know this and try to find someone who is as crazy as, or whose crazy is as crazy as, or whose crazy is compatible to their own. Love does not follow any preconceived set of rules, nor is it any respecter of personal feelings. Love says: "Throw caution to the winds...and FOLLOW ME!" And, there you go...falling, rolling, laughing, sighing, fainting, and running straight into Love. Then, hopefully after you've awakened to your good senses, the person who is there by your side when you wake up in the morning is at least, half as much in love as you are. Because we all know that Love is a two-way street, right? No one really wants to have an unrequited (not returned) love in their lives. Now, do they?
What does that mean to you? Because in my world, most two-way streets mean that someone is coming and someone is going...back and forth. I know there is supposed to be a lot of "coming" involved. And, we definitely want to prevent the "going" part. I mean...that's the whole point to falling in love, isn't it? So we can feel that ultimate feeling. You know the one ---where your toes curl up and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Isn't that what it is all about? We want to find that person (because as good as that little toy you keep in your nightstand is, you still want that "human" touch and interaction)... that person who can make you feel like you've never felt before. Or, maybe you have felt it before and you're trying to get your "groove" back.
Unless you have some sick sadistic part of your nature that you feel you want to just go around making people feel ecstatic and then you get off on making them feel miserable...most of the time you want the other person to feel what you are feeling. But, I have to warn you. Read The Celestine Prophesy by James Redfield one more time, if you think that falling in love is a simple affair of two hearts beating as one forever.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13103.The_Celestine_Prophecy
Yes, true love is forever...but so is true hate. So that's the catch...when you meet someone and you fall in love with them, you had better be 100% sure that it is not some sick Karmic joke, and that you have not met this person in another lifetime, but since it didn't work out the first time, you all will have to try it AGAIN!! Oh God forbid.
Karma in the Universe DICTATES that the people you've mistreated in another lifetime can come back in your life as your parents, or your children, or even your teachers or your church pastor...it doesn't care what the person does for a living now or how old they are. All Karma cares about is righting the wrong that was done before. Oh my God...this is so scary to me. I had a dream one time that I was a very famous King in England. I'm not going to say which one it was, but let me just say that he didn't treat his wives, (ahem)...his SIX wives very well. Some of them he had beheaded and some of the others he had thrown in jail on trumped up charges.
Now in this life, I can't seem to get a break when it comes to Romance. Every single time I meet someone and try to have a sane, normal, loving relationship with them...all this Karmic garbage keeps coming up. I've had men try to kill me...some of them have left me penniless...and this last one threw me into the streets without a dime to my name only to file an order of protection against me four months later. As if I was going to try to come back into his life and try to hurt him or his family. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS LOVE HIM!! But, no...I didn't have any money...he couldn't handle me sexually...he thought I was too bossy...his mother didn't like me...and they both had some pretty nasty habits that I won't go into right now. But, if that was a Karmic lesson...then, I guess I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON. Please, no more relationships until I can work on getting myself together first.
Go back and check out my blog about How to Marry Well 101, again. I state specifically in it that: "People are Crazy..." and that means that unless you know how to handle someone's phobias, or their neuroses, or their quirky habits, or their addictions, or their fears, or their weaknesses...you will not have a successful relationship. I am sane...I know this for a fact because I have been in therapy. I have worked on my demons. I have learned all of my weaknesses and all of my strengths and I know myself pretty well by now. I am almost 60 years old now, and it has taken me over 40 years to realize that there are certain things that you must have and that you must do before you even ATTEMPT to have a relationship with another human being.
1. You must first work on your "demons." What this means is that so long as you have bad habits, fears, phobias, weaknesses or demands (not requests) you will have problems finding or maintaining true love in your life.
2. After you have worked on your demons, you must then work on your stability and maintenance. That means that once you have achieved or you are in the process of achieving your dreams, you have learned how to support yourself in times of need, you are taking care of ALL OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES and you understand what it means to GIVE of yourself completely to another person...then and only then, will you find TRUE LOVE.
That is because, being in a relationship means GIVING and GIVING MORE to the other person. Not as much as they give to you...but MORE. And, if you are lucky enough you will find someone who is also GIVING YOU their ALL. 100% not 50/50 not 60/40...You must give YOUR ALL to the relationship and make the maximum effort to making it work. When you are a parent you don't do for your children sometimes and then other times you leave them do for themselves. I'm talking about little children...not the grown up ones. You can't throw an infant into the back of your closet and say: "Well...do what you can for yourself tonight Sweetie... because I'm going out tonight and I'll see you later!" You can't do that...you have to be responsible.
The same thing goes for your relationships...you have to nurture, feed, maintain, assess, analyze, treat and cure whatever is going wrong and keep up whatever is going right. Most of the time you can fix what becomes a problem in the union, hopefully BEFORE someone gets seriously hurt. But, most of the time the problems are just way too serious to salvage the relationship. So, in that case it would be better to dissolve the union to prevent further damage to the person's ego, finances or mental health. But, if you are doing the work on your own weaknesses first...it's like a muscle...you have to do the work yourself to build it up and make it stronger. You can't expect someone else to do your workout...you have to do it yourself!
Many, many relationships ago I met a man (who at the time was a very young man) who treated me like I wanted to be treated. He was THE BEST boyfriend that a young woman could ever want. He was loving, attentive, caring and responsible...the only problem we had was that he was not educated and I was going to go to college to make something of my life. Well, fast forward 40 years and I have yet to find anyone who treated me the way that he did AND was as educated and financially responsible as I needed him to be. I compared all of my men to him. If they didn't treat me right, I let them go. Needless to say, I have yet to find that kind of man, again.
So, now...I am doing the maintenance work on me. I have been lied to and mistreated, beat up and left abandoned. I don't trust as easily as I did in the past. I don't settle for less than I am worth. My needs have changed and so have my desires and priorities. I no longer need the super sexy stud with the Porsche in the garage and the fat wallet. All I am looking for now is someone who understands what a real woman wants and needs her man to be, because I am going to try my best to be the woman that he needs me to be. I don't have a problem with making little changes in my life like eating or not eating a certain food, or exercising a little bit more than I do now. I am willing and ABLE to be a GOOD HELPMATE...and that is all that I can ask from him.
